Doctors doctors doctors

I've been thinking a lot lately about something my doctor told me a few months back. After intense testing, we discovered that after my 4 (?) concussions, the damage my brain sustained had essentially taken away my ability to focus, which is the root of my short-term memory problems. My overall short term memory scores absolutely tanked, most of which falling between the 6th and 8th percentiles...ouch.

One of the things my doctor said he could do was prescribe me ritalin, to which of course I immediately and stubbornly declined. I told him I didn't like taking medication, he told me he wasn't to keen on it either, and I left. Haven't seen him since.  But maybe I should just get out of my own way for once, and quit letting my stubborn-ness rule my life. I mean I'm definitely against medicating unless it's absolutely necessary, but I want to get into med school for pete's sake. And I need to start cracking down with my school work. Correction- I should have cracked down long ago, but better late than never eh? So why was I so quick to decline something that could help me in the long run? I mean, think about it. Problems focusing could definitely inhibit my ability to succeed in the classroom. Memory problems could inhibit my test-taking abilities and studying effectiveness.

Basically what I'm saying is, I'm not in any position to be declining possible help in the academics department. But is it really worth me trashing my morals and everything I stand for? It just seems a tad hypocritical. I've always spoke out against doctors who over-medicate their patients, and prescribe adderall and ritalin to any kid who walks into their office complaining of "focus problems" looking to score meds for the next big exam. But I guess the tests don't lie...and if you really do need it, you should take it.

I think another big thing is that I would be going back on my word with my doctor. I told him I didn't want it...and now months later I'm calling him up asking for a prescription? It just seems a bit sketchy, and I even know the back story. It's a pride thing, too. I told him I didn't need it, that I could cope. And I have slowly but surely been finding coping techniques to combat my forgetfulness. But there comes a point when coping is all you're doing. And it's so time consuming that it's almost not worth it anymore.

I don't know...I guess I won't know until I try, huh?

I'll keep you posted!